


Illicit affairs

by Nika1605



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Love Confessions, M/M, Remus does not think he's enough, Secret Relationship, Song fic, Song: illicit affairs (Taylor Swift), no beta we die like all of them, those two are crap at comunicating, yeah I project on him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28634715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nika1605/pseuds/Nika1605
Summary: Sirius and Remus are in a relationship. Sirius wants to keep it a secret, Remus doesn't, but he doesn't know how to tell Sirius. Angst, bad comminucation and Sirius not knowing what's going on ensues.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	Illicit affairs

**Author's Note:**

> HI! So, this is my first fic.  
> Honestly I don't think it's any good, but I live by the rule, that any song is a Wolfstar song if you try hard enough and I needed to get this out of my system. Please excuse any bad spelling, grammar and anything that simply doesn't make sense, English is not my firts laguage. Also I cannot write.  
> Enjoy!

_ Make  _ _ sure _ __ _ nobody _ __ _ sees _ __ _ you _ __ _ leave _

“C'mon do I really have to wait 5 minutes? It's not as if we’re not normally seen together, you know?”

“But Remus we’d be seen going out of a deserted classroom. That is a bit  suspicious , don’t you think?”

“We can  always pretend we were doing some prank”

“Prongs and  Wormtail would not believe that! Or at least they’d have too many questions.”

“I know Pads, but we-”

“Sorry” and with that Sirius kissed Remus on his cheek and left the classroom. He left Remus there waiting, getting frustrated and feeling sad, again. And as always, he knew nothing of what turmoil of  emotions, he was causing to the boy.

* * *

_ Tell your friends you went out for _ __ _ run _ _ , _

_ you'll be flushed when you return _

They were lying on  Remus's bed and enjoying the free afternoon. Just the two of them, cuddling, snogging and enjoying the presence of the other one. Footsteps and voices were heard from the staircase and were getting closer. Sirius bolted out of the bed just in time as the door opened.

“Padfoot are you okay?” said James with a look Sirius  couldn't decipher.

“Yeah” Sirius squeaked. “I’m fine” he tried with more confidence.

“You sure? You’re red.”

“I just got back from the  quidditch pitch.”

Remus sighted and fell back on his not understanding why Sirius complicates it so much. He gets that he wanted it to be just them for some time, so they could make sure it’s what they both want, but it’s been half a year already and they still sneak around. If they just told James and Peter it’d get much easier. At least Remus had Lily to confide in. He didn’t tell her, but it’s Lily. She knows everything and she figured this one out too.

* * *

_ Tell yourself you can always stop _

_ It’s born from just one single glance, _

_ but it dies, and it dies, and it dies _

_ a million little times _

At least Remus had Lily to confide in. He didn’t tell her, but it’s Lily. She knows everything and she figured this one out too.

“Why do keep doing this. You know you can always stop, right?”

“I know, Lily. I know, it’s just...”

“You love him”

“Yeah”

“Then at least talk to him Remus. Tell him how you feel and that you want to stop hiding” she was getting a bit angry with  both of them . With Sirius for hurting Remus and with Remus for letting Sirius. “Promise me you’ll try to stand up for yourself”

“I’ll try”

She smiled at him and headed to the Gryffindor table. When he sat down, he smiled at everyone and even though he felt they’ll recognize it’s fake, no one batted an eye as they carrion on with the conversation. Throughout the breakfast he kept looking at Sirius. He had always been glancing at him. Before their relationship and even before he realized why does he feel different when Sirius is close. But the more he thought about it, the more it reminded him of the years he pined after Sirius. And don’t get him wrong, he was happy just to be near Sirius, but not getting to do more hurt him. Remus needed to get away. So, he got up in an undignified manner and ran away as fast as he could.

* * *

_A drug that only worked_   
_The first few hundred times_

_They show their truth one single time_   
_But they lie, and they lie, and they lie_   
_A billion little times_

_Look at this idiotic fool that you made me_   
_You taught me a secret language_   
_I can't speak with anyone else_   
_And you know damn well_   
_For you I would ruin myself_   
_A million little times_

Remus disappeared into a hallway and Sirius started panicking. And as always, Lily noticed.

“Go to him!” she told him very sternly. If he wasn’t focused on Remus, he would be scared by how much it resembled McGonagall.

“But...I-…"

“Talk to him” she was getting a bit loud, but Sirius was still hesitating. “Go!”

As was Sirius running away James and Peter looked confused, but not that surprised. To be honest seeing Sirius acting as if he was in a telenovela was a daily bread, nobody except the Marauders even asked what’s going on. Sooner or later they always found out.

After what felt like half an hour but was about five minutes the door to the classroom where Remus was hiding opened and revealed concerned Sirius.

“Thank God. I thought I lost you. Why’d you ran?” asked Sirius. He cared, he really did. However, he’s rarely able to read Remus’s expressions especially when Remus supressed his emotions and gave him a cold shoulder. Which seemed to be happening now.

“Talk to me, Moony, please” Sirius begged. And he said please, Remus should give him at least that, right? Right?

“Oh, so  _ now  _ I can talk to you. We're finally alone, does that also mean I can look at you or should I not, in case, you know, someone might see us?”

“That’s not fair!”

“Isn’t it? How is it not fair? We've been together for months and yet, I’m still your dirty secret.”

“You know that’ not true!” Sirius pleaded only to be immediately interrupted by now angry Remus.

“Do I, Sirius? Do I really know? Because you never said anything. And I know talking about feelings is hard, but what am I supposed to think when you’re  embarrassed to admit what’s between us to others and to yourself.”

This threw Sirius off. He heard Remus yell at someone and to be honest Moony was hot when he was sacking someone, still it has never been aimed at him. At this point Sirius was scared he really screw up.

“I cannot hide. I don’t  _ want _ to hide.” Remus almost whispered.

“I-” Sirius felt a lump in his throat. He couldn’t speak. He didn’t even know what to say, how to convince his Moony to stay.

“I thought as well” and with that Remus left looking crestfallen.

The hall was now filled with students slowly getting to their morning classes. Remus didn’t know what the argument meant for his relationship, but now was not the time. He needed to focus on classes. Yeah, he could do that.

“Moony!”

Everyone turned to look at Sirius and wondered what would happen to them. Something always happened when Sirius shouted. Everyone except Remus. He stood frozen in the middle of the hallway hoping Sirius wouldn’t break up with him.

What no one expected was Sirius running towards Remus and sweeping the taller boy in a kiss. Remus was shocked, then happy and then scared. Scared. Did Sirius mean it? Did he realize the whole Hogwarts now knew of their relationship? Remus reluctantly pulled away. When he  looked into Sirius’  eyes, he was met with only love and determination.

“I am NOT ashamed of you. I love you, Moony, and if you’re not happy keeping it secret then so be it. I’ll gladly shout it from the rooftops.” And while Remus appreciated this, he was well aware Sirius would  actually do it if necessary.

“I think what you just did is enough for now.” he didn’t even try to supress the grin he was wearing. “And I love you too  Padfoot ”

Now this caught attention of all students and teachers. This scene was definitely new although long over-due. But as James could confirm they all got used to it quickly. Once the floodgates were open, one was rarely seen without the other. And they would always be connected one way or another. James could talk all day about the times he saw things that made him want to stab his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any comments or critisism do comment. And if you noticed some error please notice me somehow, thx.


End file.
